My life is obsession without passion,
compulsion without end,
disorder without rhyme or reason.
A chemical maelstrom dragging
my free will into the crushing ink-black of hopelessness.
Hands bleed in perpetual cleanliness next to no god.
Grey matter overclocked,
overflowing with thoughts
too numerous to comprehend, too chaotic to control.
But control is what I seek,
bleak as that pipedream may seem,
I must fight to walk
without retracing my superfluous daily routine.
I am a blind hummingbird flitting
around the same depleted flower;
I linger around the same moment
too disabled to press on.
I’m nothing if not consistent;
consistency is my curse and my savior,
but a savior I wish would abandon and forsake me.
Mine is a life defined by tepid perfection
in an imperfect mind.
I dwell in every moment…
and yet…
Joseph Vickery recently graduated from Oregon State University where he majored in creative writing. He is currently working on his MFA in writing at Lindenwood University. He has lived all over Tennessee but currently resides in Nashville. His work has been featured in The Phoenix.
