A big wave was coming. My car rose, then filled with water. O God, this can’t be happening! I looked up, my car could fly! It rocked up over the trees, skimmed the tops. Through the clear bottom I spotted my childhood home. I lowered my car and it hovered over the pool in the yard. Then I jumped through the roof into an empty room. At the back was a closet with a hidden door. I opened it. Someone was walking down the hall & hugged me. A thin man I loved. He showed me the closet he was building, the dome ceiling I hadn’t noticed before. The wallpaper didn’t fit, and between the seams the bare walls breathed.
My father came to sit on the blue wicker stool in the upstairs bathroom of my childhood home. Talking in his familiar voice as if he’d been alive the whole time in another place. I finally asked him the question I most wanted to before he died. He said I feel it whenever you pray for me, he who never understood what it meant to pray. He said it feels like deep silk. I didn’t understand but I did. I asked him to give me a sign that he heard me when he returned to wherever he had to go. He repeated it feels like deep silk, my home.
Barbara Siegel Carlson is the author of the poetry collection Fire Road and co-translator (with Ana Jelnikar) of Look Back, Look Ahead Selected Poetry of Srecko Kosovel. She lives in Carver, MA.
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