Whenever he finds a spider
in the house he leaves it alone
life is tough enough
he reasons even for spiders.
But sometimes one will show up
in the bedroom
and his wife notices and says
“either that spider goes or I do”
So of course he captures it
releases it outside
where it belongs anyway
but honestly at times
he’s tempted to leave
the damn thing
right where she found it.
For obvious reasons the first rule in any art gallery
or museum is don’t touch the art
even if the works seem to be behind glass
Is that really glass he asks the guard
we’ve never seen that before and we’ve been
to the Louvre in Paris and the Guggenheim in New York
Yes the guard says folding his arms across his chest.
It’s expensive but we had to do it
there’s a 1/8th inch space
Between the glass and the painted surface
especially critical if we ship them—
wow so that really is glass he interrupts
Suddenly reaching out tapping the glass with his finger
of course he knows he shouldn’t
be touching the art in any way but seriously
The guard is standing right next to the painting
talking to him how the hell
could he not tap the glass!