Here’s to staying up late

and watching Pulp Fiction

instead of staying up late

because your mind is cycling with stress.

 

Here’s to eating the best

oven pizza you’ve ever had

after days of not being able

to keep food down.

 

Here’s to harsh cigarettes

and a longneck lighter

on a metal table

while winds howl at the moon.

 

It’s talking about it

so you don’t need to drink about it.

Knowing and being known is

saying “fuck” instead of pretend smiling.

 

It’s being touched without jumping,

and unbraiding and fading

with heavy eyelids

that can safely close.

 

It’s not about waking up,

it’s about falling back asleep

after a glance to ensure

not everyone disappears.

 

Hearing one person say,

“You aren’t as dark as I thought.”

Hearing another person say

that they pray for you

and hearing yourself say;

“I’m not a whore.”

 

Here’s to all that.

That’s what today is.

 

 

Amanda Ramirez

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