I scattered your ashes as you requested

on horseback

horse galloping in clapping rhythms

and with the free behind me

you asked for one verse of song

with all the love I could muster in my lungs

 

amazing grace

how sweet the sound

 

I sang loud enough for the wind to catch it and push it around

in hopes that along with it

it would take this pain u requested me not to feel

 

please save a wretch like you

like me

 

maybe i’ll tell myself you’re there in the violet hushes of the sunset

or that you’re watching behind the blinding heat of the sun

and that i hadn’t done what i had done

 

you hung on long enough for me to say the miscellaneous things

we held hands and glances before u let go of the world and me

you requested i make sure i never leave you to the shadows of misery

that i finish things when u grew weak

you didn’t want to hear and not see

or stare at mute things

or wobble without direction

or ache endlessly

and i promised but now this promise feels like murder to me

and i wish i would’ve thought to ask you to send peace

and mercy when you reach the King

 

now i’m on horse whose galloping

your ashes dancing in the wind ascending

the free behind as you requested of me

and a verse of song

 

amazing grace

please make a sound

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