Carcinisation

When we were little, my half-brother named all his pets after different animals, which our mom initially thought was a vocabulary issue. His goldfish was called Butterfly. His hamster was named Lizard. The family dog responded to “Rhino,” though only when snacks were involved. The cat? Octopus. The snail? Gory. (He later clarified Gory was short for “Gorilla.”)

Despite what everybody might think, I knew this wasn’t random. He once told me that he believed every animal secretly wished to be a different animal on the inside.

“Like nesting dolls,” he said, “but with fur and fury.”

He once watched his shrimp float listlessly near the tank filter and whispered to it: “You’re a whale in captivity, and I see you.” I guess it felt like the right thing to say.

He never named anything Human. That probably felt too ambiguous.

Years later, I told his story in group therapy and nobody laughed. A man named Kyle asked, “So what does he go by these days?”

I gave his question a thought. “Mostly Crab,” I said. “But working toward Pigeon.”

He nodded like that made perfect sense.

Sarp Sozdinler

Sarp Sozdinler has been published in Electric Literature, Kenyon Review, Masters Review, Flash Frog, Vestal Review, Fractured Lit, JMWW, and Trampset, among other journals. His stories have been selected or nominated for several anthologies, including the Pushcart Prize, Best Small Fictions, and Wigleaf Top 50. He’s currently at work on his first novel in Philadelphia and Amsterdam.